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Adam’s Choice

by | Aug 26, 2010 |

Being married to a fellow professional runner carries benefits and drawbacks. The advantages are all pretty obvious. One of the disadvantages that might not be so obvious is that the number of setbacks each runner in the couple experiences is doubled. I’m discontent not only when my running is not going well, but also when Adam’s running is not going well.

I don’t know why, but in the 10 years Adam and I have been together there have been few times when we were both healthy and running well. Adam had some of his best years in the early part of the last decade, when I was constantly injured. But in 2007 I had a big breakthrough, and I kept the momentum going through 2008 and last year. Adam was sidelined through most of that period with a foot injury.

Things started to turn around for him last summer. His foot had finally healed, he was able to train consistently, and his fitness started to return. The longer it continued the more excited we both got—it had been a long, hard struggle for him. Not long after I got pregnant, which put my running on pause, Adam decided he was ready to race, and chose the Healthy Kidney 10K as his “comeback” event. Two weeks before the race, he got injured again. This time it was his hip.

Unfortunately, it’s no small setback. The doctors diagnosed an impingement in the hip joint that is causing bone buildup in the area. There’s also a possible labral tear. Surgery will be required to fix it, and then six months of recovery and rehabilitation will follow. Adam is 35 years old now and feels he is running out of time to return to the level he was once at. On top of that he is getting tired of fighting a seemingly endless, losing battle to stay healthy. He’s thinking about calling it quits—not giving up running, of course, but retiring from professional racing.

It’s not that he wants to. Adam still has the same fiery passion to compete that he’s always had. He feels he hasn’t achieved everything he wanted to achieve as a runner—that there’s still a lot of unrealized potential inside him. But he understands that the clock is ticking and it just might not be possible to climb back to the top of the mountain. He recognizes that refusing to quit might not be worth the pain and frustration that come with it. He’s torn.

As Adam’s wife, I find it hard to watch. I hate to see him suffer with this decision, and I feel powerless to help. On the one hand I don’t want him to quit, because as a runner myself I know how devastating it would be to give up on my remaining dreams without even having a chance to fail. On the other hand I don’t want to see him continue to struggle if it brings him nothing but misery.

Naturally, living through this hard experience with Adam has made me reflect on my own career and how it might end. One thing I know and accept is that, with very few exceptions, nobody goes out on top. Nine times in ten, your best days are behind you before you realize it. Being an elite runner is kind of like a high jump competition: you keep raising the bar until you can’t get over it. Your last effort is always a miss.

I love the thrill of racing to win so much that I know it will be hard for me to realize I’ve lost a step and am no longer good enough to win. But I also love many other things about running and competing. So I could see myself not worrying about slowing down a little as I get older and just continuing to pin on my race numbers and do my best, like Colleen De Reuck and Joan Benoit Samuelson, who have set the standard for graceful aging at the elite level of running.

All I hope for now, in the prime of my career, is that I have a choice in the matter. I want to be able to choose whether I stop racing because I’m past my peak or keep racing because I still get plenty of satisfaction out of it even without the hope of winning. I don’t want injuries to make me quit before I’m ready. And I don’t want that for my husband, either.

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  • Sm1972

    Swimming with the current instead of fighting against it can bring you to some amazing places. The body speaks very loud (when it has to), and sometimes makes the hard decisions for us. This could be chance however, to move forward into a new direction and a chance to see things in a different light and perhaps find a solution to the injuries. A lot of energy can be wasted trying to stay in the same place.

  • http://stacymaried.blogspot.com Stacy Marie

    My hubs is a runner too…and you're right, watching someone you love deal with an injury sucks big time. I hope his hip heals quickly!

  • I H

    Kara, that was a very touching post. I have been strugling with injuries pretty much whole year, so I understand and know how hard it is, especially if running is ssomething you really love. It would be a dream come true to be able to train as much and as hard as I wanted, with no pain or hindrance. I am really looking forward to being healthy again and getting better and being able to run without pain and race, too. All the best for you and Adam, I deeply hope his injuries will heal and that he would be able to run again painfree. Good luck also for your family-to-be! :)

    A passionate runner from Finland (and a huge fan of Kara)

  • http://imafitnessjunky.blogspot.com Kiesha

    Thanks for sharing your personal moments with us and it tears my heartstrings to hear of your compassion and concern for your hubby. What a struggle to choose between unfullfilled dreams and potentially life altering injuries. I hope the best for the both of you!

  • Rhode

    As a PT, I'd rec'd getting the hip fixed just for the future of the hip. Hold off on the running decision if possible. Never know how awesome he might feel afterward, plus motivated plus he will be fresh as a daisy. pretend he is 31; might be; he looks young.

  • Ptobjuris

    I have followed Adam since Doherty HS, and regardless of what the future brings, I will always think of Adam as a track warrior. A tough, courageous talented runner. Best to wishes for Kara, Adam and family.

  • Coachkristin

    Kara – what a great tribute to your relationship with your husband. I'm sure many see you both as I do, a couple of prefessional athletes who are so amazingly incredible at what they do, that we don't sometimes stop and think that you struggle on a daily basis with obstacles and setbacks. I was a swimmer through high school and college, but then got injured and became so frustrated, angry, and impatient, that I took up running. It has become an even stronger love than swimming was, yet I still do long for the abilities I once had in the water.
    I hope you and Adam do continue to run for a long time at whatever level your bodies will allow you to. The ability to continually put one foot in front of the other is a privilege that many people don't have, and even on my slowest runs I am grateful for the blessing of being able to keep moving. I hope you both hold on to the love and passion for running. Good luck to you both!

  • Tmorenamex

    Hi Kara! I just started running almost a year ago. I am doing to lose weight because I want to get pregnant soon. I have been married for 1 year. I was reading an article and you were in it and I clicked on the link and starting reading about you. Wow! you truly are an inspirtation, I read and am amazed @ all u have accomplished. I could only dream of things like that. You do however encourage me. That it can be done. So, I decided to follow your blog. Would like to know how the whole pregnancy/delivery goes.Today's blog sounded kind of sad. And a scripture came to mind, and I just wanted to share that with you to encourage you and your husband. Proverbs 16:9 I hope it brings comfort. I know God will direct your steps as you are walking them out. Thank you for sharing your personal experience in your pregnancy. I will pray for your husbands surgery to go well. God bless you.

  • CD

    Kara, I admire you as a champion and the more I read you, the more I like you. Your analogy with the high-jump competition is right on the mark and also applies to us, the rest of the pack: at some point in our lives we peak, we set the bar too high and we miss our goals.
    I wish you the best with the baby and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Adam, hoping he'll recover fast.
    Keep on writing, Kara.
    Cécile (Your biggest French fan.)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1397867265 George Dosher

    Kara (& Adam): I have been a big fan of Adam (& Kara) since I read Running with the Buffs, I am so sad to hear that this is going on. I know that he has be struggling with injuries and I am sure that he is torn. Please realize that retiring is not quitting. I am sure that the drive that Adam used to achieve the things has done in running from the time he ran as a Spartan through his time with Nike will serve him in the future, in whatever role he chooses to pursue. I root for you both as runners, but I care for you mostly as people, I wish you both the best with your careers, your baby, and your lives.

  • Brooke

    Your blog has really inspired me and given me a few things to think about myself. I am a collegiate runner just starting my junior year. I came off a spectacular high school career, as one of the best in the nation in my event, and have yet to win a collegiate race or even PR. Like you said, nobody goes out on top, but I know I can find myself near the top again if I just remember the thrill of racing to win. I've seemed to have forgotten how to do that. These last two seasons of collegiate running could be my last and I thank you for helping me realize that my time is short and I have yet to accomplish some things that I am so passionate about that it makes me love running even more.

  • patti

    Kara, Adam, also has the “father gene cell” kicking I suspect. Things change and change is good, however changing can be difficult to accpet…when “wanting” is so now…Fatherhood is foremost in his heart and mind, I think.

    Enjoy the impending parenthood…fatherhood..you only have a first child once.

    Adam, you have done us well….life goes on and you are at the beginning. Take care!
    patti

  • Indianagogodancer

    What a great blog entry…I wish Adam a very speedy recovery..I have followed both of your careers and I think Adam still has a lot left in him…..As do you. Both of you have such a talent and passion for your sport that it inspires others to reach for greatness as well.

  • Indianagogodancer

    What a great blog entry…I wish Adam a very speedy recovery..I have followed both of your careers and I think Adam still has a lot left in him…..As do you. Both of you have such a talent and passion for your sport that it inspires others to reach for greatness as well.

  • Jessica

    Kara, I love reading your blog. I am nowhere near as fast as you, but I have recently run in the 16:00s for the 5k, which was a huge goal of mine. I am 29 years old and I too know that soon my days where I keep getting faster will come to an end. Good luck with being a Mom and I hope that your husband recovers quickly after his surgery.

  • Shut up and run

    Wow, what a touching post. I agree it is impossible to separate ourselves from our spouses (and children!) – in the midst of great successes, we feel each other's pain. I know this must have been a very difficult decision for Adam and tough for you to watch him go through it. It is an interesting observation that you say “no one goes out on top.” I just think of Lance Armstrong on that one. Guess you have to know when to say when. I love what you say about aging gracefully. If anyone can do it, you can.

    You signed a shirt for me recently from Remanents.com. Thank you for that!! I talked about it on my blog today.

    Beth at

    http://www.shutupandrun.net.