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Little Dreamer

by | May 31, 2010 |

When I run by myself I have my most intimate thoughts. I look for meaning in some of my important memories, I work through present difficulties, and I try to chart the best course for my future. I also do a lot of dreaming when I run. I can’t tell you how many state championships I won in my mind back in high school, how many NCAA titles I won in my fantasies at the University of Colorado, and how many Olympic medals and major marathons I’ve won in my head in the past few years.

About a month ago I did a tempo run on the treadmill during which my imagined self ran the last 10 km of the Boston Marathon—and won, of course. I was worried that my fantasy might be interrupted by the need for a bathroom break, as I can’t hold my water very well lately, but I made it through. When I stepped off the treadmill I thanked the child in my womb for letting me break the tape this time.

Then a strange thought came to me. I was struck by the realization that my unborn son has been present for all kinds of private dreams, thoughts and feelings since his conception in mid-January. Since I never share a lot of these dreams, thoughts and feelings with anyone outside of myself, my unborn son already knows me better than anyone, in a sense.

You probably think I’ve lost my mind. Let me be clear: I know my child is not really a witness to the contents of my mind when I run or at any other time. But I can’t help feeling as though he is anyway. And it’s not as if the developing fetus is totally uninfluenced by what its mother thinks and does while it’s developing. That’s why a lot of expecting mothers play music for and read to the lumps in their bellies these days. So you never know, there might be something to this idea I have that my son will come into this world in a few months understanding me pretty well.

I’ve taken this notion so far as to worry that when I do when a major marathon or Olympic medal in a few years, my son will say, “What’s the big deal? Mommy’s already done that a hundred times before!” And then people will think he’s crazy!

I know I don’t really have to worry about that happening. I just hope I am able to win something big when my child is old enough to remember it. That’s my greatest dream of all now. Let’s see, he will be almost six and I will be 38 when the 2016 Olympics come around…

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  • http://www.runningdummy.com Jon Soldo

    That's a really awesome way of looking at it :) Good luck through out the rest of the pregnancy!

  • Jordan

    Really sweet, thanks!

  • Dan P.

    Marathons are “not” beauty contests.

  • Chris

    I know you are going to do something big in your upcoming events after your son is born. Please do not listen to the negative posts. Having a baby is a life changing event and more often than not, makes us want to acheive our dreams faster. Take this from me as I just became a father and have already noticed my goals being reached faster than I could have imagined.

    Plus being from Northern Minnesota, like me, we know how to work hard and dedicate ourselves to any dreams we have.

    Best of luck, we are rooting for you.

  • David

    I don't think they are negative posts Chris, but more like realistic.

    What is wrong about posting the truth and what makes it negative? The person mainly listed facts & just because you disagree doesn't make him (Dan) wrong/negative or you right/positive. To each his own.

    If I were a betting man (I'm not) I'd agree with him if forced to make a bet one way or the other. Do you think she's going to win gold in London? I don't and I'd bet she doesn't even medal. Times don't lie.

  • Lindsay

    I imagine myself achieving my running goals while I run as well. I'm glad to hear someone else does that too!

  • Becky

    Dan P, you missed the entire point of the post. Completely.

    Kara, becoming a mom is a wonderful, magical experience. Dream away – that bond with your baby is very special, enjoy it.

  • amy

    If Oversharing was an Olympic sport, Kara would be a multi-medalist.

  • DREAMERWHOWINSBEAUTYPAGENTSTOO

    POSTING NEGATIVE COMMENTS ON THESE BLOGS ONLY RUINS THE CHANCE AT FURTHER INSIGHT INTO THESE ATHLETES MINDS. IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, DON’T READ IT.

    Here Kara is trying to share something with people who CHOOSE to read her blog, and people like Dan and Amy come on here and just find things to tear her apart on. I would like to see you “bomb” at worlds and get 10th. We don’t get anywhere in this world if we don’t dream. Come on! Kara – don’t listen to someone who finds it necessary to come online and attack other people to fill time during there day. It is pathetic! Dream big and don’t look back!

  • Momma Lo

    Dream on, Kara! The thoughts you have shared with the world are beautiful–just like you are, both inside and out! Maybe people like Dan P. and David have never had anything special to dream about; no goals they wanted to achieve. That's only for them to know. Keep your dreams alive and know that the support you have from your family, friends and fans can never be taken away. You've accomplished so much, so many amazing dreams, that many people may not have thought you could. You DID, and you WILL achieve so many more of your dreams! Don't ever stop dreaming. Don't ever stop working hard to achieve all of your goals! And keep sharing those dreams with that beautiful little baby inside you!

  • Tim Catalano

    Show me an athlete who fails to dream big, and I will show you an athlete who fails.

    The greats all have one thing in common, THEY BELIEVE THEY CAN. This is what separates the good from the great. Kara is already one of the greats in US Distance history, but what makes her special is that she is not satisfied with those achievements.

    Plenty of people told her she couldn't for years, but with each new milestone the doubters get harder and harder to find. Go Kara!!! We will be watching and rooting!

  • Bell

    You know what? Your baby is going to love you no matter what, whether you win or don't win. But we all hope you win!

  • Rachel

    Kara, you are absolutely amazing and such an inspiration. Thank you so much for so openly sharing yourself with all your fans. Good luck with training through your pregnancy and congratulations on your baby boy. If you and Adam are ever looking for a little down time or vacation, I know the perfect spot. http://mtnsky.com/ Plus I’ll be working there and it is one of my dreams to meet you!

  • http://www.PodiumSportsJournal.com dr stephen walker

    Hey Kara,
    Great job – keeping fit and working it mind and body – even in time off. This kids a lucky guy – Too bad Dan's mom wasn't more nurturing. Every great athlete I've ever known has dreamed like you do. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us is tiny compared to what lies within us.” Keep on having fun:)
    doc

  • KC

    Wow…people are such haters—must be doing something right Kara!

  • KC

    Oh you’re right David…there’s nothing negative about taking the time out to insult someone and explain how they don’t have a shot at making their dreams reality.

    Please post your dreams so I can logically rip them to shreds.

  • Aarika

    There is nothing wrong with self-actualization, and I love this concept. I also love that you are already so aware and attuned to your child. To me, this shows devotion, love, and insight!

    A sidenote: thanks for being so talented and amazing! I have never really followed runners previously, but your cover and article in Runnersworld has turned me into a devoted fan. I loved the psychological piece, which I fully subscribe to and find similar difficulties within myself. Good luck in all your future endeavors!

  • Jamboni

    We all have the ‘right to dream’ that Dan P will stop wasting his time commenting on amazing blogs.

  • http://www.runningdummy.com Jon Soldo

    I 100% disagree with Dan. Kara, your accomplishments to date are simply amazing and I truely believe the best is yet to come!

    As someone who is currently for the New York City Marathon, my “dream” is to qualify for Boston and run a 3:09. For me, this is a lofty goal. However, I am dreaming big and will die trying to achieve that goal :)

    “Having dreams is what makes life tolerable” – from the movie Rudy

  • Liz

    Dreams are the most important thing because we turn them into golden goals. Kara this is awesome, as someone who has been injury prone I definately look to the experience of others to know that you can work back to consistency. It's also mega awesome news about your pregnancy, congrats again. A fellow runner I know just had a baby girl and it's great seeing how much love she gives her daughter, no doubt you will do the same.
    Keep the dreams alive, many people appreciate you sharing your experiences (running and more) with the world. The energy and enthusiasm of runners is contagious and it captivates us all! One of my dearest friends transformed himself into a great runner through achieving goals and dreaming big when he was told in college that he was not a good runner. It just goes to show that dreaming makes the difference, thank you again Kara for sharing that with us.

  • David

    You are messed up KC and extremely biased. The guy didn’t insult anyone and used “facts” as to why he didn’t believe she had a shot……until she improves or gets to a certain time, I agree with him.

    My times are 32:18 for 10k on the roads. My dream is to break 30:00, but it’s a dream, it’s very unrealistic and I can openly admit it. I am 27 and have done many hard 1600 repeats under 5 minutes, meaning I’ve done the hard workouts, pushed hard in races and there is no way I can drop 2 plus minutes because “I dreamed it”.

    We all, including you, have a certain level of ability and with it do the best we can. The poster said she wasn’t there yet, and he’s right. A sub 2:26 in 3 attempts ain’t gonna do it. I broke 2:30 a few years back, if I dream that I can run a sub 2:20, is that realistic after 12 years of running? Let’s see you try to “logically” rip those dreams to shreds when I am the one being logical. Not gonna happen.

    You can rest assured of one thing sir, no one will ever accuse you of being intelligent.

    David

    p.s. I ran an even 5:43 pace and just skimmed under while puking my guts out right after stopping. Should I have made excuses about how I could’ve done this or that? You would have, but I accepted that it was the best I could “on that day”.

  • run4ever

    Dan P.-

    What is your motivation for criticizing an elite athlete who has aspirations of greatness? It seems to me that you have a dislike for Kara that goes beyond her candidness about her future goals. Am I right? Speaking of goals…how is setting a goal for oneself brash, or hogwash, or arrogant? It’s a goal, not an assurance. Can you name any elite runner who was able to get to the top without setting goals that seem unattainable to others?

  • amanda

    I just listened to a RadioLab episode about deception. A psychologist found that swimmers who lied to themselves on one specific survey actually performed better than other athletes of similar capacity but who did not lie on the survey. This shows that Kara’s “illogical” dreaming is not illogical at all. If she believes that she can win these races then she actually has a higher chance of winning them on the road.
    Congratulations again, Kara! I’m so excited you’re having a son!! Keeping dreaming big. You can do whatever you want as long as you think you can.

  • KC

    David- I don’t know if you are socially inept or if you just can’t pick up on sarcasm. The point is it is rude. I would never “tear your dreams to shreds”, logically or otherwise, because it isn’t worth my time, I really don’t care, and I’m not a crappy human being. The fact that you did it yourself is amusing. Did you even read her post? It wasn’t as much about her winning, but the intimate relationship between herself and her child. So, to take the opportunity to use facts and say that she will fail at the dreams she’s sharing with her baby seems really low in this context. Your insults have no bearing and, by the way, I am intelligent and I am a woman. But, that’s ok…it’s not the first time you’ve been wrong in your posts..

  • kayeanne

    Kara, you are already an amazing Mommy. You have an emotional connection with your child. You will soon find out that being a mother will be your most rewarding journey ever. You will be a stronger runner too. Birthing a child into this world gives you a sense of strength that you cannot buy, borrow or steal. You will come back to the running world even stronger. So when you are at the Olympics at age 38, and your six year old son is cheering you on, you can “thank” him after you break the tape! It will be HIS love for YOU that pushes you that last 10k!

  • runnermom

    Thank you Kara for sharing this story about you and your baby! That is just super sweet and it's also going to be su-weet when you are back running marathons and kicking booty. He is going to be super proud of his mommy! :) I always wonder what others think about when they run. It's good to be a dreamer. My dream is qualifying for Boston. I am soooo close, so why not try? “All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.” TE Lawrence…guess this goes for women too. ;-) Thank you so much for sharing your personal moments with us and I really hope I get to meet you at the NY mini 10k next weekend. My girlfriend and I are running it…just by chance we saw it scheduled and signed up since we will be in town on our annual girls trip and how perfect for us to run together. Keep up the good work and congratulations on your pregnancy!! We will be cheering you on through motherhood and running!!!

  • Lilly, RN

    And your a Doctor? What a stupid post. She IS very arrogant and should let her feats do the talking, not her keyboard and ego. Too bad your mom didn't give you any smarts.

    rn

  • Hydee

    Kara, I've always really appreciated how open you've been with the public, not only about your goals but also your disppointments and fears along the way, and I still appreciate it. Your smile and laugh comes easy and you have a charisma that attracts a lot of people to you. I know that sometimes on a day when I don't feel like running I think of all the hard work you put in and it always inspires me to do my best as well.

    Anyway, thank you. And all my best to you and Adam and Baby Goucher.

  • Vivian Santiago

    Nothing wrong with a little dreaming! I do hope one day you win a huge race =)

  • Willy

    Why would she win a bronze in 12 feet or 16 feet? Is she entering the long jump? Or do you mean ’12 (as in 2012) or ’16 (2016)? If you’re going to critize so stupidly, don’t open yourself up to stupid criticism.

  • http://www.hwmwcw.blogspot.com Heather Weeks

    This is very tender, and I can relate. I am a mediocre runner (at best), and mommy to a 2-year-old boy. I absolutely had private dreams and fantasies on runs, and at the end of a particularly great fantasy run, I would rub my “bump” and just smile. It's fantastic to be able to share that with your unborn son. I finished my first half ironman triathlon in the first trimester of my pregnancy, and we always joke to our family members that our son has already finished a half ironman. Keep on sharing this very human and sweet side of you, Mrs. Goucher!

  • Elisabeth W.

    Ummmm Willy, your comment was even dumber. It was obvious what he meant and your criticism has no validity. Have you ever typed something wrong? Of course you have because you just did! You so stupidly (your choice of adjectives) typed the word critize, but you obviously meant criticise, right? Or did you really not know how to spell the word? The jury will be out indefinitely on that one.

    Elisabeth W.

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