Little Dreamer
by Kara Goucher | May 31, 2010 |
When I run by myself I have my most intimate thoughts. I look for meaning in some of my important memories, I work through present difficulties, and I try to chart the best course for my future. I also do a lot of dreaming when I run. I can’t tell you how many state championships I won in my mind back in high school, how many NCAA titles I won in my fantasies at the University of Colorado, and how many Olympic medals and major marathons I’ve won in my head in the past few years.
About a month ago I did a tempo run on the treadmill during which my imagined self ran the last 10 km of the Boston Marathon—and won, of course. I was worried that my fantasy might be interrupted by the need for a bathroom break, as I can’t hold my water very well lately, but I made it through. When I stepped off the treadmill I thanked the child in my womb for letting me break the tape this time.
Then a strange thought came to me. I was struck by the realization that my unborn son has been present for all kinds of private dreams, thoughts and feelings since his conception in mid-January. Since I never share a lot of these dreams, thoughts and feelings with anyone outside of myself, my unborn son already knows me better than anyone, in a sense.
You probably think I’ve lost my mind. Let me be clear: I know my child is not really a witness to the contents of my mind when I run or at any other time. But I can’t help feeling as though he is anyway. And it’s not as if the developing fetus is totally uninfluenced by what its mother thinks and does while it’s developing. That’s why a lot of expecting mothers play music for and read to the lumps in their bellies these days. So you never know, there might be something to this idea I have that my son will come into this world in a few months understanding me pretty well.
I’ve taken this notion so far as to worry that when I do when a major marathon or Olympic medal in a few years, my son will say, “What’s the big deal? Mommy’s already done that a hundred times before!” And then people will think he’s crazy!
I know I don’t really have to worry about that happening. I just hope I am able to win something big when my child is old enough to remember it. That’s my greatest dream of all now. Let’s see, he will be almost six and I will be 38 when the 2016 Olympics come around…

Pingback: June 2: Haile Gebrselassie Is Expected to Enter NYC Marathon … – ing nyc marathon, olympic medals, unborn son, world marathon, york city marathon, york road runners